7/21/07 through 8/2/07

7/21/07

Here I am in my very own village eating oats in cold milk (powdered milk made into liquid milk) and sugar because I can’t figure out how to connect my gas tank to my stove even though at the beginning of training they showed us how. I am starving because I haven’t eaten since this morning. I got to my village around 11:00 in the morning – it only takes about one and a half to two hours to get here from Kpalime. We were the first vehicle to leave Kpalime (there were ten vehicles taking us to different parts of the country). It was pretty amusing seeing all those buses lined up and being loaded with al our stuff. We were picked up from our village around 6:30, but it took a while to load four of us and our stuff into the car – my host mom is so sweet – she gave me a table for my stove, 2 jars of jam, a jar of peanut butter, silverware, two plates and some citronella (grass that gives water a lemony flavor when boiled for tea). My van left Kpalime around 8:00 – I bet some of the other vans didn’t leave until after 9:00. One of the girls in my van (Tig (Antigone), one of my favorite people in Togo) got dropped off only 20 minutes from Kpalime at the site that was one of my top three choice – I am glad that I got to see it, it is really tiny, just a cluster of buildings, but kind of strange because they are town-like buildings in the middle of nowhere. They aren’t mud huts with grass roofs.

Then we drove to Notse – it is only approximately 60 kilometers from Kpalime, but it rained all last night which didn’t help road conditions – the road was a dirt road. I liked what I saw of Notse – it is market day today (Saturday) and from what I could see you can buy pretty much anything and everything in Notse which is great. We stopped at the hospital and it looks really nice – lots of buildings, flower gardens outside the buildings. My homologue stayed in Notse, but she found the president of COGES (a village public health committee) to accompany me. Notse is the prefectural capital of my prefet (region) – Haho. My village is approximately 12 kilometers north on the route internationale (paved road) and then 6km on a tiny dirt road flanked by tall grasses. The first village after the turnoff, Agbatitoe, is where the next closest dispensaire (clinic) is and also the closest middle school – it has market day on Friday.

My village is awesome – just as I would have hoped – it is a sprawling cluster of houses – mostly square (some made of cement brick with corrugated tin roofs others made of mud-brick with grass roofs). None of the houses have walls around them and all the front yards are sand. I am already planning to have a round paillote (like a gazebo, just a round, grass roof with benches under it), built in my front yard. Because I don’t have any sort of porch, I think Peace Corps would pay for a paillote to be built. My house is painted orange on the outside, but white on the inside (white-washed, not really painted). It is rectangular in shape and shares a wall with my neighbor’s house (a women with three small children). My house is a rectangle with two rooms and I was very pleasantly surprised when I opened the door because it is quite nicely furnished (wooden kitchen table, three wooden chairs, two wooden benches, three plastic buckets with lids of different sizes, plastic bucket, a kerosene lantern and kerosene (it doesn’t work very well as I found out – the wick can’t be adjusted), two plastic wash basins, a big plastic rectangular canister, matches (that don’t really work), three plastic gobelets, glass drinking glass, glass shot glass, two canning jars, miscellaneous containers, two forks, two spoons, a dull knife, a big metal spoon, metal pot with lid, two plastic containers with lids, three metal plates and two plastic plates, various detergents and bleach, clothes pins, metal scouring pad, two brooms, dust pan, bed, mattress, mosquito net supports, straw mat for flour or outside, shelves covered by a curtain, toilet paper and tampons, string, screen, two pillows and pillow cases, a white sheet (with holes in it), rags, a pagne, markers, poster paper, computer paper (1 ½ packs), paradise powder, anti-bacterial hand sanitizer and a small mirror). The PCV who left all the stuff for me (I haven’t met her yet, but hope to soon) is only asking for 50,000 cFA (around $100.00) which I think is very reasonable considering all the really nice and very useful furniture she left me. I know she is asking 50,000 cFA because she left me a note.

My floor is cement, my roof is metal, but lined and sealed with wood – I was really surprised by how nice the ceiling is . . . although I can hear the mice scurrying around up there. Each of my rooms has two windows, so there is plenty of light and a nice cross-breeze.

As soon as we got here, they helped me unload (many women taking my stuff off the van and carrying it inside for me). I said thank you and good-bye to my fellow trainee who continued east to her post and then I was alone – for the first time since I arrived in Togo.

My privacy was really well respected and my neighbor just checked on me once during the course of the afternoon. As I proceeded to clean my little house – sweep it out – (it was pretty dirty, lots of mouse droppings, uh-oh, I might be forced to get a cat . . . ). I started organizing my things, getting everything put away, making the bed, hanging my mosquito net. It already feels like my own little space – but I haven’t even checked out the shower and latrine yet. I am a little scared, but I have to pee, so I am going to go check it out and I will tell you about it when I get back.

Wowee! I shouldn’t have been scared – both my shower and latrine are super nice – not really scary at all – smooth cement floors – nice walls, not too many bugs – my latrine itself is also cement with a plastic seat and lid cemented to it. My latrine has a roof over it, but the shower doesn’t – I really like my little house! I am so happy with it! It is perfect! Perfect!!

As I was hanging my mosquito net, someone came to my door – two young men – one of them introduced himself to me as my counterpart’s (Lily) brother. He said he is a nurse and has been helping out his sister at the dispensaire. He took me to see it, the clinic, which seems pretty nice as well – two rooms, each with two hospital beds, a room for birthing babies, a consultation room, an office – not too shabby – I’m excited.

I talked to the brother for a few minutes – asking some questions and then I said that I had to go back and continue organizing my things. On the way back I greeted all the people I saw – they all seem very friendly, but they speak VERY little French, so Ewe is a MUST.

My water source is a cement cistern (I am not sure how deep it is . . . that catches te rain water off my roof. There are many cisterns like this around the village. I haven’t really walked around the village yet – I think I will wait for Lily to take me around – but so far I love it. I really really love it. Everyone is outside, in front of their houses. There are sheep, goats, chickens, dogs and even some pigs all over the place. The landscape is dotted with trees, but mostly it is tall grasses and sand. I don’t know anything about the shopping situation yet – what is available in village, but I am sure I will find out lots more tomorrow. I am so happy and excited. Really. It is just like I would have dreamed had I allowed myself to dream before seeing it.

It will take a bit of getting used to for sure – especially all the day to day living things, like cooking, but I am sure that once I figure things out (like how to plug the hose into the gas canister and where to throw my food scraps – I had a disappointingly fermented pineapple – but Notse is the pineapple capital of Togo so that is GREAT!).

My counterpart (homologue) just stopped by – she just got back from Notse. She helped me connect my stove so that is also good. She said she will come by again later – she hadn’t even been home herself yet.

I am so excited to starte meeting people and getting to know my village. So very excited. Right now I am going to wash some dishes before it gets too dark and then I don’t know what I will do – perhaps read some – I think I will wait until tomorrow to actually cook something =0). We will see.

No one speaks French! I have to learn Ewe ASAP. There are a whole bunch of kinds standing outside my door. They seem nice enough – just curious. I feel like an animal on display in the zoo. I can’t close the heavy door yet, though, because my homologue is going to drop by. The kids already know my name.

The lantern Emmanuel left me isn’t working properly – the wick doesn’t move up and down as it is supposed to – so I had this huge flame and I didn’t know that I could just blow it out =0).

A whole line of kids just came up to my door to say “bon soir” one after another. Now the yare just standing there with their faces pressed up against my screen. I guess Emmanuel’s village name was Yawa (which is the name for a girl born on Thursday like me). Ok, they are getting annoying – I am going to close the door.

7/22/07

Las night, my counterpart and her brother stopped by around 8:00. I was getting ready for bed – I was pooped. Lily brought me some koliko – cassava French fries – I ate one (and then the rest this morning for breakfast). I slept relatively well last night – it was cool, the bed has a firm foam mattress which is actually quite comfortable and I had a pillow for the first time. The pillows here feel as though they were filled with sand, but it was still nice to have one.

The mice scurried around all night long. I think they were having mice relay races. I kept waking up and shining my headlamp around to see if they were actually in the house of just between the wooden roof and the tin roof. I didn’t see any, but I am still seriously considering getting a cat. I don’t really want a cat, but I do want the mice to go away. It would be a bit bummer, though, to get a cat and then have the mice just keep running around up there – a cat isn’t guaranteed to chase away the mice.

This morning I got up around 5:30, I heated water for my bath – took a bucket bath and then ate koliko (cassava French fries) and Milo (nestle chocolate vitamin drink) for breakfast. I also started to prepare some beans for my lunch.

Before I showered, a man named Tsevi stopped by. I had met him briefly yesterday, but he is quite busy with some sort of legal process happening at the local elementary school (I later learned that they were registering people and making photo ID cards for the upcoming elections). Tsevi is the secretary of the CVD (Committee Villageois de Development and apparently the town crier and a man that Emmanuelle (the previous PCV) describes as a “dad” to her in the village. He is also apparently an ASC (Agent de Santé Communautaire – Community Health Agent), so definitely a good person to get to know and he already has Emmanuelle’s A-okay (stamp of approval) as a nice and trustworthy person.

Today the village was planning some sort of welcome for me, but I learned last night that the chief’s wife died and so everyone will be going to Notse for the funeral – the welcome and meeting the chief has therefore been postponed. I will have to ask if I am supposed to give my regrets (for his wife’s death) when I meet him. I don’t know how she died or if she was young/old – I think she has grown children, though, so not too too young.

Soon, Lily will arrive and I will go to my first church service in Togo – a Catholic service. We will see how it goes.

Wow – I just got back – it is 2:00 in the afternoon. I am tired, but well. Lily came to get me around 9:00 (over an hour later than I expected her). Lily came to get me around 9:00; the church service didn’t really even start until 9:30. It was under a shaded area made with sticks and grass with a sloped roof. The priest arrived on a motorcycle – my first impression of him was that he was a little arrogant. He welcomed me as we came in, but then he scolded one of the men for not having adorned the table with anything but a tablecloth. He said, we are poor, but not that poor and sent him to get candles.

When I first sat down, my feet were immediately covered with ants. I looked down and the ground was swarming with them. Instead of getting up, I tried to unobtrusively pick the ants off my feet, but there were too many and a woman quickly noticed. Soon there were many people helping to get the ants off me and I was ushered to a new bench. The priest tried to get me to sit on a wooden chair up front so “the children wouldn’t bother me,” but I convinced him that I didn’t mind and stayed put. I had to be careful, though, to stand up when everyone else stood otherwise I’d tip the bench.

The service was wonderful – I only wish I could understand everything. Again, Ewe is going to be a must here. There was lots of singing, clapping, dancing, drumming. The music was really fantastic – beautiful harmony, very energetic and accompanied by drums, maracas, little finger symbol-like instruments . . . The sermon was amazingly pertinent – it was a sermon about hospitality. The priest said that in African culture, he who is not hospitable is almost not deemed a man; that when we welcome another human being, we are welcoming God and the ancestors because it is believed that they could be reincarnated in the form of a stranger or visitor. He also said that the word for foreigner in Ewe literally means one who is desired. HE mentioned me and said that they should welcome me. (The only reason I understood this much is that he would occasionally translate into French for me).

After the sermon, there was the offering. Everyone went up and dropped coins into a plate while singing and dancing. Then we greeted everyone – I tried to shake hands with as many people as possible, but then I had to go back to my place. Afterwards, there was communion – only four people partook. Then there were two more offerings accompanied by singing and dancing. From what I understood, the offering was given in accordance with the day of the week you were born and the amounts collected were tallied up and reported right there after all the days of the week had been called. Then there was another offering for I don’t know what purpose.

A general observation is that people seem friendly but extremely respectful – as if I were an elder or an important person. One man kneeled and grabbed his right forearm with his left hand (sign of respect afforded chiefs) as he greeted me (they do a similar gesture when they put the money in the offering plate).

After the service, children picked up the benches, put them on their heads, and we all walked down the road in a procession to the house of a man who had died. There, we sat under a newly made shaded area (the grass forming the roof was still green) and clusters of people took turns singing. Then a man gave what I believe was a short sermon, an offering was taken and then Lily called me out of the crowd. She took me to her house where the priest, myself, Lily and another man shared a lunch of fufu and a very spicy sauce. It was good (I am a little nervous because I know fufu is made with untreated water), but of course they didn’t think that I ate enough. They wanted me to eat meat, but I wasn’t sure how to eat it because we were all sharing one plate of fufu and one casserole dish of sauce – a spicy liquidy sauce with vegetables, chicken and a mystery organ meat that the priest tried to offer me. As the meal progressed, I saw how the meat was eaten. The priest asked for a plate and took out a piece of meat, but the other man just put a piece on his side of the center plate after he had eaten enough fufu to clear a place. Next time I will know. We were also served coke and given bowls of water to wash our hands.

I learned that the area has a water problem because under the sand is granite and so well drilling is expensive. I think what they said exactly is that it is hard to make traditional wells and well drilling is expensive (I am already hoping that my Dad might come and work on a water project with me and I think my village is already praying for it =0). I saw one really nice well and pump, but I noticed that the majority of the houses are made of mud brick and straw roofs and water cannot be collected off straw roofs. Lily says those people get water any where they find it, but often it is not potable.

My impression of the priest changed a bit over the course of the morning. I learned that he has been working in this area for seven years and he seems to be dedicated; his sermon sounded well put together, interesting and meaningful (even if he does speak of the need to replace pagan practices and beliefs with Catholicism and of religion as the answer to lack of development). He also seems sensitive to the role of women – as he made a comment that usually women are more active in the church and yet there are more male than female saints and why should that be? (I may have misunderstood, though). Anyway, he seemed relatively nice after the original gruffness and seemingly petty request for candles, so I will give him a few more chances. I think I will return to that church – a lot of people attended and I think it will be a good inroad into the community.

Now I am going to lie down and rest/read a bit and around 4:00 I think I will go for a walk around the village and introduce myself. I have to be brave! It is a sprawling village with little clusters of houses. I am not sure how far it extends . . . I would like to eventually start a map on my wall to get a good idea of the layout.

I just read and napped for a bit. I am trying to build up the courage to go out . . . I am just going to walk around a bit, scope out the dimension of the village, say hello to any people who are outside and introduce myself hopefully. Then I will go to Lily’s house, if I can find it, and return a container she brought to me yesterday.

I just ate a big yummy mango so I am full and content now and alone in my house. It is raining outside which probably means that I will have peace and quiet (except, of course for the sound of the rain on my tin roof and the thunder!)

I went out walking and met some people in the village – whoever was outside. I was very well received, but there were some awkward moments because of the language barriers. I would say “bon soir” and they would respond in French, but then I would continue in French to explain who I am and they wouldn’t understand, so I would just smile, say “merci” (thank you) and continue on my way. I didn’t want to address everyone in Ewe because there are also Kabye, Losso, Moba and Lamba people and I don’t know how to differentiate yet, so I though it might be best to wait to break out my fantastic Ewe skills =0). Just kidding (about the fantastic part, not the waiting part).

At one point I was offered chouk (locally made beer – made from sorghum) and I was able to gracefully decline by offering a bit to the ancestors (pouring some on the ground) and saying that the ancestors would drink for me. I wasn’t sure how it would go over, but they seemed to appreciate the gesture. They also think it is funny when I pretend to be tipsy when I am refusing alcohol and say that I can’t drink or I will get like that – they laugh and it dispels the pressure to drink.

Then I met a woman, Bebe, who is a friend of Emmanuelle. She welcomed me exuberantly and ten walked with me to Lily’s house. Another day I will have to see the rest of the village – it is quite sprawling. Lily, her brother and I then walked to Avassikpevi (vi is the diminutative suffix in Ewe, so Little Avassikpe) which is about 1 kilometer down the road. The villages are intimately related and my work will be with both (and about 24 surrounding villages).

Unexpectedly, it was a little more awkward to be accompanied because I was less outgoing and more aware of the possibility of committing a faux-pas and so I was more inhibited. We met some people, some important people I think because we bowed and shook hands in the particularly respectful way (holding the right forearm with the left hand while shaking hands). Some moments were a little uncomfortable, like when a man asked why I was so stiff and why I didn’t just pick up the babies. I tried to diffuse the criticism by joking that I’d make the babies cry and imitating a crying baby – they laughed. I also got a marriage proposal. I said that I was already married and asked if women here are allowed to have two husbands. They said no and laughed.

I learned that Lily assisted a birth last night. I bet she works really hard since there is no nurse. I think she is well liked and well respected here. She is a beautiful strong woman. She invited me to dinner, but I declined and said I would go home and eat fruit.

I also learned that taxis only leave Avassikpe on Wednesday and Saturday – the other days there are just taxi motos (which I am not allowed to ride yet because I don’t have a helmet). So I am not really sure how I am going to get out on Thursday. Normally I could ride my bike to Agbatitoe (6km away, right off the highway), but I can’t leave my bike there for four weeks, so I might have to leave on Wednesday when I can get a taxi. I’m not sure it would be a good idea to walk 6km with my backpack, even if all I’m taking back are clothes. We will see. Wednesday seems very early to leave, but I may not really have a choice.

Now I am going to get ready for bed and read for awhile. Tomorrow I will spend at least the morning at the clinic.

7/23/07

I am pooped. I just finished preparing my first real meal – rice, beans, carrots, green beans, cabbage, onion, garlic, green pepper, tomato paste and salt (too much salt). I had a bit of a run in with the can of tomato paste – it squirted all over me, the table, the floor, the wall. I thought I had gotten it all cleaned up – I ate, went outside to get some water, washed the dishes and then it occurred to me to look in the mirror. I had tomato paste on my forehead and in my hair.

I asked what there is to buy in this village and the answer is pretty much nothing. My weekly trip to Notse will really be necessary for stocking up on food. I don’t think even bread or eggs are available in village, so I will have to buy bread in Notse and eat that the first two days or so of the week and then have oatmeal or something else for breakfast the rest of the days. I want to get a paillote built to do cooking outside – perhaps on one of Dad’s charcoal stoves from Ghana – I make such a mess when cooking indoors.

I am feeling a bit worried about what impact, if any, I will be able to have on my village. Ewe needs to be my first priority because without it I am going to be handicapped. I can’t even talk to people without a translator.

This morning I went to the dispensaire at 7:15 (I thought I was late – Lily said she goes at 7:00). No one was there. I sat and read my book. Lily’s brother showed up and then some people whom he attended to – a little boy with a skin problem and a man with a bandaged foot. I fell out of place – I don’t know what to do with myself, but I have to make the first move to greet people. I was upset with myself for not having gotten up to shake the hands of the people who cam in and said good morning. They responded, but kept their distance and just bowed a bit. The humble way in which people act around me is embarrassing (for me) and uncomfortable.

After Kassim (Lily’s brother – I think that is his name) attended to the people there, we went to Lily’s house. She said she prepares the noon meal in the morning because sometimes it is so busy at the dispensaire that she doesn’t have time to cook or even eat. She served rice and a vegetable tomato sauce for breakfast. I didn’t eat any because I had prepared and eaten oatmeal for breakfast.

Afterwards, Lily and I went back to the dispensaire. No one came to be seen the whole morning. I learned, though, that Lily gets paid not by the government, but rather from the money that people pay for consultations at the dispensaire. She said she would prefer to be contracted by te government because that way she would accrue money/savings for retirement. She said that this year 400 people are retiring from the government health sector and she hopes to apply for one of the openings. She would like to go back to school to get her nursing degree as well. (I don’t know what will happen to me if she leaves).

When I asked why Avassikpe doesn’t have a nurse, she said that it is because they don’t have adequate housing for a nurse. The house needs to be right near the dispensaire. This seems like a silly reason not to have a nurse. One would think that they could mobilize the village to build a house for a nurse – but this isn’t the only problem. The government doesn’t have enough money to provide each dispensaire with a nurse, so some dispensaries are left empty and unused.

This morning Lily went to the primary school to get her photo ID for the upcoming election – I must say that I am impressed that they have come out to little villages like this to register people to vote. I just sat in the dispensaire and read Where There is no Doctor in French.

Then we went to visit a little boy who is quite sick. Apparently he was coughing up blood – he was sleeping when we got there. I think Lily was visiting mostly to be kind because she doesn’t really have the medical training to deal with that sort of thing – she just felt the child’s arm and talked to the parents a bit.

It wasn’t a very eventful morning – I think I have been christianed Yawavi (little Yawa) because Emmanuelle is Yawa, but I was born on a Thrusday too, so Yawa is the corresponding name in Ewe.

As I cooked lunch I was a little annoyed by the children alternately yelling my name, fighting, crying, talking, staring at my door. I try not to pay too much attention hoping that they would get bored and go away, but I think they have actually made a hole in my screen door, or at least made the hole bigger.

Then a young girl (12 or 13) who I had seen at a house we stopped at briefly when we were walking to the home visit stopped by. I was a little uncomfortable, because all of a sudden she and three little boys were inside my house (this is why I really need a paillote). I am trying not to allow people in my house but it is difficult when I don’t have a shady place outside. I think perhaps Emmanuelle let her into the house and so she felt comfortable coming right in and the kids followed. They were obviously curious and testing the boundaries. One little boy even took a tattoo from a bubble gum wrapper that I had left on the table. The young girl, named Delali, goes to school in Agbatitoe and so spoke some Frensh. She said that Emmanuel had given them a soccer ball to play girls soccer and that she likes white people (because they give her things?? I think she actually said that). It was a little uncomfortable, so after chatting a little, I said I was in the middle of cooking. She got the hint and left and I shooed the little boys out the door. I had to latch my screen door because they were opening it. My patience was wearing a little thin, but I just ignored them and eventually they left. I am wary of giving them anything or even any special attention for fear they will take up permanent residence outside my front door.

Later this afternoon, when it cools off a bit I am going to ride my bike the 6 km to Agbatitoe and back just to see how long it takes me.

Oh, good news is that apparently there is good cel phone reception in my village with Togocell.

One of the little bothersome boys just brought me a roasted corn on the cob. That was sweet. It is pretty tasty.
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I just ate a whole pineapple and I am full to the point of bursting. It was a good one, though, which partially makes up for the fact that the other two pineapples I bought were well on their way to becoming wine.

Around 2:30 in the afternoon, I went to the dispensaire and showed Lily and her brother my photos. I told Lily that Jorge is my husband. She asked if we were married in the church. I said yes. She asked if it was the Catholic Church. I said yes and then I had to get myself out of that little bind (because I am not Catholic and she knows it) so I said that just like my parents (which is true), we found an understanding priest who would marry us in the church even though I am not Catholic. I haven’t yet decided how long we have been married . . .

It felt weird calling you my husband, but I guess I will get used to it. I think it will help me a lot to be “married” – I already got one marriage proposal this afternoon and Lily promptly told the guy that I am already married.

At three, I left for the village that is right off the route internationale. It only took me twenty minutes to get there (and another twenty back). It was an easy ride for the most part because it is flat. The only difficult part was where the road was very sandy or covered by a huge puddle.

I think, though, that it should only take me about an hour to get to Notse by bike. It is 6km to the town I biked to today and 18km to Notse and it is probably even easier to pedal on the paved road (although it is a little hilly) . . . I think I will probably bike most of the time early Saturday morning (or even Friday afternoon), do my shopping and internet, stay the night at Ashely’s house and bike back early Sunday morning, hopefully in time to go to church.

When I got back to the dispensaire I chatted wit hLily’s brother for a bit and then I helped put a fence around a small orange tree to keep the goats from nibbling on it. We used old plastic tubes – I am afraid some of them may have been used catheter tubes (with pee still in them – but I didn’t ask . . . =0) to tie the fence together.

Afterwards, we just sat around – people came and went, but most of the conversation was in Ewe, so . . . I didn’t understand. I got to see the two day old baby. He was all white – not black yet. I asked if one of his parents was white, but Lily said no, that all balck babies are light when born and gradually their skin darkens.

Now I will read a bit and go to sleep. I still haven’t decided whether to leave by taxi on Wednesday or try to bike the 18km with my backpack. I am tempted to try to bike it – I don’t have THAT many things that I am bringing back with me, just clothes.

More children standing outside my door peering in . . . problem is I can’t really SEE them. The child definitely just made the hole in my screen door HUGE. =0( Grrr.

7/24/07

I’m in agony and so is the little girl who is screaming and crying outside. If I were a little girl I’d be screaming and crying right now too. I don’t know why she is in agony, but I am in agony because I itch all over.

I spent the whole day at the dispensaire today. First thing in the morning I sat in on a pre-natal consultation. The woman was four or five months pregnant. This is her fifth pregnancy (the first three children died at 1 week, 1 month, and 7 months) and she is only 28 years old. The fourth child is still alive. She came with her husband who did all the talking. Lily gave her anti-malaria medicines, made her husband buy a mosquito net and told them to come back in a month. Then there was a big long expanse of nothingness in which we all sat in silence. Then Lily went to take a nap and I chatted with her brother. Apparently, a lot of the Kabye people speak Ewe as well because they have grown up here, around a lot of Ewe speaking people. I can’t remember what else we talked about exactly.

Then a pregnant woman with some sort of sore arrived and Kassim (Lily’s brother) rebandaged it and then a very pregnant girl arrived. Her family came with her – two older women and three men. She had her baby this evening – I was kind of hoping that I’d get to watch, but I just heard the process from the waiting area. All afternoon, though, since they arrived around 11:00, we were all hanging around waiting for the baby to be born. I picked some peanuts from a field with Lily and we had boiled peanuts and boiled corn for lunch. Afterwards we were sitting around again and Lily asked me if I have any projects in mind after being in village a few days (a little premature, I think, but . . . ). I said that the very first thing I know I need to do is learn Ewe, or I am not going to be of any use at all. Then we talked about the lack of potable water (or any water at all for that matter). Apparently, come dry season, water is very very scarce and people go all around in search of water. The one pump in the village is not nearly sufficient to meet everyone’s need for water and especially because people come from neighboring villages as well. Lily says that water is the first thing on many people’s priority lists including the chief.

After our conversation, I went out to the field, Lily’s field behind the dispensaire, to help harvest peanuts as we waited for the girl to be fully dilated (I guess . . . all I know about the birthing process is from watching the discovery health chanel). I must have harvested peanuts for about two hours. It wasn’t hard work, just a little dirty and we almost finished the field. Even the people waiting with the pregnant girl came out and helped for a while. When we finished, I went back to the dispensaire, washed my hands and started to itch, ALL OVER. Then all of a sudden I noticed all these little red bumps, like a rash appearing on my left arm from below my elbow all the way up to my armpit. I was afraid that it was caused by a plant, so I immediately went home and took a bucket bath. More and more bumps continued to appear – they were all down the left side of my stomach as well. I was a little scared that soon my whole body would be covered with itchy welts. When Lily saw them she said they were probably insect bites. They were stinging and burning like crazy so I broke out my StingEze drops for the first time and it really helped. The bites are starting to disappear now and it doesn’t hurt as much.

When I got back to the dispensaire after showering, the girl was already in labor (by in labor I mean screaming). Less than an hour later the baby was born. Like I said, I didn’t see it, but I heard it all and hearing the baby’s first cries gave me goosebumps all over. It was a healthy baby boy. I was sitting wit hthe father and two teenage brothers – the women were in the room helping with the delivery – they brought their own basins, rags, etc. When we heard the baby cry the father stood up and said “thank you God, thank you God.” It was a nice moment, but not without a good deal of screaming in pain from the young girl beforehand. It was painful, yet interesting to listen to, but because I couldn’t see the birth, it was almost unreal – I can’t wait to see my first birth, but I don’t want to intrude, make the woman uncomfortable or get in the way. Maybe once I have been here a while and maybe if I know the mother who will give birth she wouldn’t mind if I watch . . . we will see.

Meanwhile, one of the brothers told me that it is ok for men to adopt, but not women because they have breasts that produce milk and should therefore have babies. This comment was provoked by me saying that I am not going to have children, just adopt, because it sounds too painful.

After the birth, the father went off to tell the grandparents the good news. The mother went into the recovery room with the baby. I didn’t go up to see the baby because I didn’t want to intrude, but I saw him from afar as they brought him to the recovery room – white and red and very small, but way too big to come easily out of a vagina. Ouch.

The mother walked from one room to the other not half an hour after the birth – it was her first baby – she looked very young – late teens (probably the father’s fourth or fifth wife – not his first for sure because the two boys (also the father’s sons) looked almost the same age as the girl giving birth).

I was surprised to see Lily come out looking as fresh as a Daisy (or a Lily) and without any blood on her at all. The two women relatives did all of the clean-up. Lily offered me a nut – with a name that sounded like sushi and tasted a bit like coconut and looked a bit like a hard yellow rasin. It was yummy.

Then I sat around and got bitten by a lot of mosquitoes – Lily says they are welcoming me. I don’t think I appreciate the welcome very much.

I think I will leave in a taxi tomorrow. I don’t really want to leave yet, but I am nervous about trying to ride my bike the 18km to Notse with a huge backpack, so . . . I don’t have much choice. I am going to pack a bit and then go to bed and get up early.

7/25/07

So, I am safe and sound in Notse with my friends. WE are having a sleepover – all camped out on the floor like a bunch of teenagers (they don’t have furniture yet).

It was quite an ordeal to get here this morning. I got up super early and finished packing and sweeping out my house – my big dilemma was where to throw my food waste. I felt badly because I meant to eat my left-over beans and rice, but then I was at the dispensaire all day yesterday and I ate there. I thought that I might eat the beans and rice for breakfast, but by this morning they were already growing mold. My green beans also went bad, so my compost bucket was full and I felt badly because I felt that I was wasting food that someone could have eaten. I am going to have to get used to how quickly food goes bad without a refrigerator and also learn exactly how long I have before my fresh vegetables go bad. I also have to figure out how best to keep them so that they las a bit longer.

Anyway, after walking around my house looking lost and getting lots of laughs from my neighbors, I just gave the whole bucket to one of my neighbor women who took it into her house and came back with an empty bucket. I am not sure if she dumped it outside or into her own bucket to root through and see what was salvageable, but anyway, she took care of my “problem” subtly, without causing me any embarrassment over all the food I had wasted.

When I got to the dispensaire, Lily’s brother told me that she had gone to Agbatitoe (the town 6 km away on the edge of the route internationale), so he went with me to talk to the taxi driver. A taxi supposedly leaves Avasskipe on Wednesdays, but today te driver said he wasn’t planning on going. He said that for 2,000 cFA (around $4.00), he would take me the 6 km to Agbatitoe. I was a little stuck because I was all packed up, house closed, I don’t have moto privileges yet because I don’t have a helment and I had decided that I shouldn’t bike the 18 km to Notse for the first time with a huge sack on my back, so . . . I told him I would pay 1,500 cFA and he agreed. Now, technically, this means that I had rented the whole vehicle (usually for one person to travel the 6km to Agbatitoe it is only 250 cFA, so it should have been just me and the driver in the taxi . . . but before I get into how that was NOT the case, I wasn’t to make a side note. I saw the young girl who gave birth yesterday at the dispensaire this morning. Yesterday she hadn’t even looked at me – she seemed very shy, withdrawn – I think she was really just petrified because this morning she was like a completely different person. She was laughing and smiling and trying to talk to me in Ewe even though I don’t understand and even more amazingly, her tummy was completely flat. You could never have guessed that she had just given birth less than twenty four hours before – she must have felt so light and liberated. It was an impressive transformation.

So, back to the taxi . . . he picked me up at the dispensaire with two of his buddies in the car. Then we stopped en route and picked up five, yes FIVE MORE people (for a total of nine) – none of whom were paying anything because I had paid for the whole taxi. Technically, I could have complained, but there is only one taxi in Avassikpe and I think it is in my best interest to stay on the driver’s good side. . . you never know when I might need a taxi at a moments notice, so I just scooted over and tried to make room.

It is interesting, though, one minute they are trying to cheat you and then the next moment they are trying to protect you from being cheated by someone else. By “they” I mean the taxi driver who found me another taxi (to take me from Agbatitoe to Notse) made sure I knew that the fare is only 250 cFA, insisted that I ride in the front seat, and directed the driver (several times) to leave me at the hospital, just as Lily’s brother had told him to. So, at that point he was watching out for my best interests. Before that, I guess he was looking out for his own interests.

We had to wait for the taxi to fill which took about half an hour – I was the fourth person and we needed two more (six people plus the driver to a five passenger car). The ride to Notse was uncomfortable. The driver was shifting into my thigh and one of the male passengers told me he wanted my pants (bizarre), but we heard the song “Mayonnaisa” on the radio which made me happy because of its familiarity and I was grateful to have taken a taxi and not attempted to bike it because it is a bit hilly and I think it would have been quite tiring with my pack.

When we got to Notse they dropped me at the hospital. I went to a cabine in front and tried to call Ashley’s cell (another CHAP (health) trainee who will be posted in Notse, my closest Peace Corps neighbor). She didn’t answer. I was wondering what I was going to do. The taxi was still sitting there. I asked the driver if he knew where the organization I was looking for was – he didn’t and a whole crowd of people tried to help including a guy who wanted to take me on his moto. The taxi driver told me to get back in, he dropped the other people off and then drove to drop me off. I thought they had explained where it was and we were going in the right direction because I saw the sign for the organization, but for some reason the driver turned off that road and onto a parallel road and then he stopped and talked to some people for 15 minutes about where this organization might be (none of them were familiar with it, all of them thought I must have the acronym wrong and insisted that it wasn’t in this quartier (neighborhood) and they didn’t seem to understand that my little map indicated that we were only a few blocks away. I don’t know if they can’t read maps or what, they just weren’t getting it and they didn’t want to let me get out and walk. Finally, I got the driver to drive me a little further and then I got out and walked. All that discussing where the organization might be and we were only three blocks away. Nicely, though, the taxi driver didn’t charge me for the extra hassle.

I was scared I would get to the organization and the ordeal wouldn’t be over, that I wouldn’t be able to find Ashley and that they wouldn’t know where she was. I was so extremely happy when I saw her (actually just her legs, because she was behind a doorway), one would have though that it had been three months and not just three days since I had seen another trainee (I have to say I missed the other girls that I have training with horribly).

Our exuberantly joyful reunion was subdued a bit by the fact that she was in the middle of a workshop with AIDS orphans that her organization tries to help. I said hello and sat down to join the proceedings. It was a little intimidating as we were asked to participate and give our suggestions/comments to a small crowd of people looking on expectantly. I didn’t really know what was going on, but I tried to give my two cents. The topic was how the kids could make their summers productive and healthy. Ashley’s work situation seems more structured than mine, but some weird things go on – like a photographer who comes everyday to take pictures of her homologue pretending to facilitate a workshop with the kids. Strange. It was just so nice to have a chance to talk a bit with another trainee and share experiences.

Around noon we walked to Heather’s house. Heather is a SED (Small Enterprise Development) trainee who will also be in Notse. Ashley is staying with her over post visit because her own house isn’t quite ready yet. Heather’s house is beautiful. It is in a walled compound with a few other inconspicuous people. It has mango, papaya, and guava trees, plus bougainvillea and other decorative plants, tiled floors and a really nice front porch. It looks like a hacienda straight out of Latin America. She has two big nice rooms, an indoor bathroom and electricity, but no running water for now because apparently someone stole the water pump (?!?!).

She has already engaged an eleven year old girl to help her out and we were going to make French fires for lunch, but we had a little incident. The gas stoves we were issued by the Peace Corps are very hot – you can’t really turn the flame down enough for many things not to burn. Well, we got a little distracted by a stream of visitors as we were heating the oil for the French fries (a LOT of oil, WAY too much oil, I think). When we put some garlic in (to have garlic flavored French fries) it burnt right away and somehow the whole pot of oil suddenly burst into flames. We threw the metal lid on it thinking that it would put out the fire eventually for lack of oxygen, but the flames just burned up all around the lid. Thankfully we had already turned the gas completely off and there were no curtains, otherwise I think we seriously might have burned the house down. We had to call the man who lives in the compound for help. He brought a big long stick, broke it in half and then stuck each stick in either of the pot’s handles and miraculously brought the whole flaming pot outside where he set it on the steps of the porch. It was pouring rain – the rain started about at the same time that our oil spontaneously combusted. Obviously hot oil and water isn’t a great mix, so we all stood back as the rain water dripped off the porch roof onto the pot and splattered, spit, smoked and steamed. It was quite the show. I think we scared the young girl working with us (and ourselves for that matter) half to death and I am sure she vowed never to allow us near the stove again – crazy yovos who don’t know how to cook.

Afterwards, we modified our plan and just cooked the potatoes in a little bit of oil with onion and green pepper – it was yummy all the same.

In the afternoon we went for a little walk with Ashley’s homologue through the marked and to a sewing shop where they employ orphans and teach them how to sew clothes. We jus stayed for five minutes or so – it was kind of weird – I didn’t know if we were supposed to ask questions or what. I think Ashley’s homologue just likes to parade his yovos around town. We also got some fanmilk which made me happy, but mine had two holes so I ended up spilling it all down my front.

After the rains, there were several rivers through the streets and we actually had to jump over about a meter wide river.- the water wreaks havoc on the dirt road, many of which appear to be too eaten up for cars (and even motos) to pass through. I wonder if they fix them up after the rainy season.

Notse seems like a very bustling commercial town, but not super developed. I don’t think too many white people live around here because the kids are really (really) enthusiastic with the yovo song – as in they wil follow you down the street chanting at you. The word for black person in Ewe sounds something like “amoeba” so Ashley and I thought we might make up a song in English with the words amoeba and diarrhea in it to sing back to the taunting kids. I don’t think we will actually carry through, it would probably just encourage them anyway, but the thought made us laugh.

I am going to keep trying to catch up to the present moment. It is now 6:45 on Friday morning. I already took a shower – we are in the maison de passage in Atakpame – there are probably a good 25+ people in the house and most of them are still sleeping off last night’s partying. As you can imagine, I hung with the tame (meaning not drinking, not smoking, not involved in casual hook-ups) crowd.

Anyway, I want to catch you up on the previous days. Thursday evening we were invited to the house of one of the men that Ashley works with for dinner. It was a weird, creepy experience – for me at least. We had to walk all across town to get there and it almost seemed as though her homologue took us the long way around on the rougher road just for kicks. When we got to the house, there were four men and three women. The women were the wife and the daughter (I think) of one of the men. We were sort of lined up to greet them, but it was super strange because it was almost as if the men lined up in front of us pairing off, like, choose your yovo for the night (because we were all girls). Then we sat down – man, woman, man, woman . . . at the table (except the women of the house didn’t sit with us, they just served us). At one point Ashley’s counterpart put his hand on my leg briefly – I’m not sure it was mal-intentioned, but I did not appreciate it and afterwards I kept myself as far away from him as possible. The whole dinner was uncomfortable and awkward - each of the men made a speech about how they hoped to welcome us. They wanted to make me feel included, I think, and so they said they would come visit me in Avassikpe. The first thing I told Ashley when we got out of there was don’t you dare bring them to visit me. I am also glad I don’t have a cell phone. When I get one, I am going to have to find some way not to give my number out. Some excuse . . . Anyway, the dinner was an uncomfortable combination of being encouraged to eat until bursting and creepy middle-aged men. Then we had to walk back to Heather’s house in the dark, but Ashley’s homologue accompanied us.

7/26/07

I got up early, took a bucket bath and made French toast for the girls. Then we just packed and cleaned up a bit and around 10:00, Ashley and I went to her organization to say “adios.” It was a frustrating visit. Her homologue was in the middle of a talk with a group of women on not stigmatizing or discriminating against people living with HIV/AIDS which I think is great, but when we needed to leave because another trainee had arrived in town and we had to go meet her, he made us stay and fill out these log books, recording the dates and times of our presence and our impressions and observations. My patience was running low – it was so anal – as if it is all about the paper trail and not really about he substance. Finally we escaped (after shaking hands fifty million times) and we went and found Kate (the other trainee) and the PCV she is replacing.

We talked a bit, went to the house, got Heather and got a taxi to come pick us up and take us to Atakpame. It was only about an hour’s ride on probably the best road in Togo, but I was sitting on the edge of the seat (there were five of us in the car plus the driver) and my back was twisted funny and my feet were totally numb and I couldn’t budge. By the time we got to Atakpame, I felt like screaming and crying for them to let me out of the car. Of course, it started to pour the moment we arrived and had to unload all of our stuff . . .

The maison looks like a college dorm, but it is fine – it has a lot of dvds, lots of good books . . . like I told Ashley, I am almost afraid to start reading again for pleasure for fear that all I will want to do is read all the time. I haven’t really read purely for pleasure avidly since high school – a book here and there, but not book after book after book and I am a little afraid of getting addicted. It is like any other addiction, I feel, and I don’t want to spend my two years in Togo hiding in my little house reading, but I am afraid it would be tempting.

When we unloaded our stuff, there was only one person present in the house even though most of the trainees had already arrived, so we went to look for food. I ended up leaving Ashley and Heather at a restaurant, grabbing some street food (corn on the cob and bean beignets) because I didn’t want to pay for a restaurant meal that probably wouldn’t be worth the money anyway, and going to internet.

I saw Nori there (another CHAP trainee) and I just have to say that I feel very lucky because there are five girls from my CHAP training group in my region so we will get to see each other relatively often and we can visit each other relatively freely. It made me very happy to see them again – I hadn’t realized how much I had missed them. Some of them had pretty difficult post visits what with sicknesses, leaky roofs, drunk homologues etc. Anyway, it is really nice to be with “the girls” again and also some of my favorite people from the SED group as well . . .

So after internet, I came back to the maison and just talked with my friends and heard all about their post visits. It is interesting that there appears to be a marked difference between SED (Small Enterprise Development) volunteer’s housing and CHAP volunteer’s housing. I don’t really care, but the disparity is evident. Some of the SED volunteers have multiple bedrooms, multiple indoor bathrooms, kitchen etc. Anyway, it is a little strange, but I am perfectly happy with my situation – it is just what I wanted.

Around 5:30 Ashley and I braved the torrential downpour and flooded streets to go buy soja (tofu). We got absolutely soaked. SOAKED. It was pouring rain and windy – I had borrowed someone’s umbrella and it got turned inside out by the wind. I think the Togolese watching us from their doorways thought we were nuts, but it was kind of fun. Then we talked some more, picked out some books to borrow, read some magazines and watched a really strange movie called “You, Me and Everyone We Know” (I think).

7/27/07

When I woke up this morning, I took a shower and then Ashley and I went on a hunt for bread (in the rain – it has not stopped raining for the past few days). I was feeling a little sad, but eventually I went out with Ashley, another trainee and two other volunteers just to walk around Atakpame a bit. We walked around the town – it is a very pretty place – I like it a lot – hilly, lots of tin roofs. Unfortunately I didn’t have my camera on me because it was raining off and on. We just walked around the market and then stopped to have lunch at a restaurant where we waited a long time for the food. I didn’t order anything, I just had some fan milk. In the afternoon I went on an internet mission – I went to three different internet places. At the first two the internet wasn’t working, perhaps because of all the rain. At the third place all the computers were taken and they didn’t have the capacity to read CDs anyway.

I went back to the tech house after my disappointing internet experience. I watched a little television and then went out to try internet again. It still wasn’t working =0( . We just watched TV until the volunteers made us turn it off because we were going to have dinner and a house meeting. Dinner was amazing – huge quantities of food, pork and veggie barbecued brochettes, regular salad, pasta salad, fruit salad, garlic bread. It was fantastic, especially the meat. I felt so protein deprived that I just wanted to eat all meat. After eating we had a really long house meeting where we were introduced to the way things work – we have to pay monthly dues to run the house, but we can stay there whenever we want and so can our guests . . .

7/28/07 – travel day, from Atakpame back to training site.

7/29/07

Today I spent the afternoon at Afrikiko. I stayed there from 2:00 until 6:15 or so just chatting with my friends. I felt a little guilty for not being with my family, but I feel a greater need to be with my friends right now, I feel as though we have bonded even more in the course of the last week and that I need to be around them to recharge. We just talked about everything and anything having to do with our week apart.

As I walked home from Afrikiko, I met Valerie (the soja man’s daughter) and after the compulsory greetings (in which everyone lies and says that they are well even if they are not) she walked with me and told me that she lost 3,000cFA when she went to Kpalimé to buy soy beans and since then her mom has not been giving her anything to eat. She says that it has been nine days since she hasn’t been getting food at home – she has been getting food from other relatives who live around and apparently until she finds the 3,000 cFA her mom won’t give her anything to eat. She said that her aunt had given her 1,000cFA and someone else had given her 500cFA. She said her little brother had been sneaking her food. We were standing outside one of my friend’s house so I went in and ask her what she thought I should do. She said that perhaps I could offer to give her money in exchange for some sort of service, but I felt weird doing that. I just gave her the remaining 1,500cFA that she needed and then went home.

7/30/07

This morning as I was walking to school I met up with Valerie. I asked her if her mother had given her food. She said that last night they didn’t prepare any food and this morning she gave the money to her mother (I don’t know why she waited until this morning . . .) and her mother gave her money to go buy bouillie (like cream of wheat – a hot cereal) and a beignet (fried dough ball), but that she was making her walk to Kpalime to buy soy beans today and then take a taxi home with the beans. I am frustrated because I don’t know if I am getting taken advantage of and the situation itself frustrates me. Valerie said that she told her mother this morning that if she found a woman who wanted her to work for her that she would leave (I think she was insinuating that she would come work for me and of course that makes me uncomfortable). It didn’t help that when I commented the incident to one of my trainers he said that she was probably lying and just trying to get money from me . . . that put me in a bad mood.

Today was a long, rather boring and frustrating day. I learned though that Felicite is going to Lome for the rest of my stay in her house and that is both good and bad. I will miss her a lot and it will be a little awkward at first to be just me and my host mom alone together, but at the same time I won’t have to play UNO for hours and I will have more time to study Ewe and spend with my friends (without feeling guilty), so . . . It will be an adjustment, though.

As I said, yesterday was a boring frustrating day. I don’t know why, but I felt like I had no patience at all. We were talking about our post visit and waiting for the Health APCD (Assistant Peace Corps Director) to arrive. Then we each had individual meetings with him. In my meeting, I just told him that I wanted a paillote (grass-roofed gazebo) in front of my house and that I was a bit worried that my homologue might leave to take a job somewhere else. The APCD said that even if the government hired her, they probably wouldn’t move her from Avassikpe, but rather just keep her at her post. I am not completely convinced, but I will try not to worry about it.

In the afternoon we had French class. I am trying to get out of taking more French classes – I’d like to take only Ewe classes. I really need Ewe and I don’t feel as though my French is going to improve much here. I can already hear myself beginning to talk with the Togolese rhythm, with a lot of emphatic pauses between bits of phrases, and it annoys me. It annoys me when I hear the seasoned volunteers speaking that way and it annoys me that I am already picking it up. I have to concentrate hard to speak fluidly without the pauses, not because I am struggling for the words (I mean, sometimes I am), but because it is becoming a habit just from hearing so much French spoken that way.

Then we had time to work on our final projects. I am in the nutrition group and we are planning to do a mini project with enriched bouillie (like a hot liquidy cream of wheat or oatmeal or rice cereal). We are hoping to talk with both the people who sell bouillie on the street and mothers of small children and eventually teach them how to make enriched bouillie (we don’t really know how to do it yet ourselves, but we will learn next week and then we will teach them the week after).

In the evening I went home (at intervals throughout the day I have been typing up the letters I wrote over post visit – it is going to take a while, I wrote 23 double sided notebook pages) and I ate dinner, played UNO, and talked to my host mom. I learned some very important things about food preservation. My host mom told me that to preserve vegetables I can put them outside every evening and the freshness of the evening and more specifically the dew apparently help keep the vegetables good for almost a week without refrigeration. Another possibility (since I don’t have any sort of fence at post and am a bit afraid my vegetables would disappear over night) is to put the vegetables on the floor, on top of some sort of paper. I will have to experiment a bit with both tactics because my green beans definitely turned black after about three days. I also learned that with meat, I can fry it in oil and keep it in a bit of oil for up to four days, then if I heat it again, I can keep it for another couple of days.

Yesterday evening I saw Valerie and learned that she had walked to Kpalime and that it had taken her two hours. I also learned that her mother hadn’t given her any money for food since that morning and that she had only eaten a piece of soja since 7:30 in the morning. That made me mad. I told her that it is a mother’s job to feed her children and that if her mother didn’t start feeding her tomorrow I was going to go to her mother and demand that she give me back my 1,500 cFA, because I had given Valerie that money with the understanding that then her mom would start to feed her. According to Valerie, her mom has said that she won’t feed her for the rest of this week (until Sunday) even though she recuperated the money, but Valerie said that today her aunt and her father were going to talk to her mother. I gave her 100 cFA to buy food, but I told her that I can’t give her money for food every day and that it isn’t my responsibility to feed her when her mother doesn’t. This situation obviously doesn’t leave me very happy.

7/31/07

Someone got chocolate in a package and it is heavenly. It is only 7:30 in the morning, but it is never too early for chocolate.

Today was another pretty boring day except for all the candy that I ate. It has been a very long time since I have had chocolate and today I had a lot. =0)

I think I am getting a little tired of training because I don’t have as much patience for it as I did before. The first technical session that we had this morning was on family planning and it was very interesting. We learned about all the available contraceptive options in Togo and there are a surprising number available here for relatively low prices (such as 250 cFA (50 cents) for a whole month’s worth of birth control). The problem is often, however, educating people on the different contraceptive options and making them feel fully comfortable with one or another of the possibilities. Men here often don’t like the idea of women taking measures to prevent pregnancy. I learned of contraceptive measures that I hadn’t even heard of before, but that are also available in the U.S., like this little copper T that is inserted into the uterus. In French it is called DUI, I forget what it is called in English. Anyway, that part of the morning was rather interesting, but the second part was a man talking about health education in schools. It was a potentially interesting topic, but our guest speaker was boring and too focused on dry definitions to keep our attention.

Alicia (another of the trainees) came to eat lunch at my house today. After post visit she moved out of her host family and into the tech house where she will stay for the remainder of stage (training) because her host mother was not feeding her and when she did feed her, the food was often literally dirty. She has lost fifteen pounds since she got to Togo. Anyway, I asked my host mom if she could come over for lunch because although she enjoys cooking for herself, it is a lot of work when we have class all morning. It was very nice and then we played a bit of UNO with Felicite and then my host mom showed us how to make jam again and offered Alicia a jar of jam. My host mom is just about the sweetest woman in all of Togo. (She also apparently expected Alicia again for dinner, which I had not understood at all and was quite disappointed when only I showed up after class in the evening).

Felicite also told me today that she isn’t going to Lome. I had been teasing her and telling her that I would be really sad when she was gone, I wanted her to feel missed, but I didn’t want her to decide to stay. I had actually gotten to where I was looking forward to having a bit more free time and it makes me feel horrible that she would stay just for me and again as though I have to make and extra effort to entertain her in my every free moment =0(. I am still hoping that she will go. I told her I would visit her and her aunt when I am in Lome for swear-in.

In the afternoon we went to pay a visit to the prefet – the local political authority for the region. We waited around for over an hour for him to arrive and then only met with him for about fifteen minutes. It was more of a formality, a show of respect, rather than a visit of substance, but I wasn’t complaining. Afterwards we got our weekly allowance and then I spent a few hours typing up my letters. I spent all my free time in the past couple of days typing the letters and I finished today, so that is good.

This evening I ate dinner and played UNO for a little bit. I saw Valerie, but I didn’t really ask her if her mother was feeding her (I think I was afraid the answer would still be no). As she left this evening, she told me that tomorrow she would tell me what her aunt said about the situation.

8/1/07

I am in a bit of a funk. Everything bores me this week and I don’t have patience for anything. I think everyone around me is a bit like that right now and we just feed off each other.

Today was a boring day for the most part. The only interesting part was my Ewe class this morning. I had a one on one Ewe class which was very useful and productive and then I had an hour to study by myself which was also great because I could calmly go over the information we had just covered and I got myself out of French class which made it doubly great. After that, though, it was downhill all the way except for that I found the sugar covered peanuts for sale in my village and bought a whole bunch of them. For some reason I am very concentrated on food this week. I feel hungry all the time even when I am not physically hungry. I am afraid it is related to the boredom.

In the morning we had a session on Peace Corps philosophy of development, somehow it was neither useful nor interesting. Lunch was good and then two of my friends (fellow trainees) joined us for a game of UNO, which of course made it more pleasant and bearable for me. Let me just say that most often these games of UNO consist of me exhausting the options of what each player could potentially play so, for example:
“Felicite, blue or four or a card to change the color. Mama, blue or seven or a card to change the color. Emily, red or seven or a card to change the color. Fidele, red, this one here” (she is only four and only speaks Ewe). Needless to say it is sometimes taxing on my patience and less than enjoyable. Not to mention that Fidele is a horrible cheat (yes, the FOUR year old!!). First she tries to look at everyone’s cards (because she doesn’t like the fact that her cards are turned over on the table for everyone to see, but that is the only way that she can play because she doesn’t know how). Then she hides her cards so each turn I have to wait for her to pull them all out again to see if she can play or needs to draw a card. Then if she sees any draw fours or wild cards in anyone else’s hand, she tries to steel them, or if you play one on the pile she snatches it right up, so . . .

In the afternoon there was a lot of waiting around and a short health session on the Peer Support Network. Nothing really interesting . . .

Tonight I am hoping to go watch a movie at the tech house, or at least part of a movie. One of my friends is going to come pick me up (it just helps me leave my house if someone actually comes to get me so that my host family can see that it is a group thing).

8/2/07

I was in a fine mood when I woke up this morning, but now I am not in such a good mood anymore because Valerie is continuing to come to me for money. I guess if this is a lesson that I have to learn it is good that I am learning it here at the training site (a village I will leave in a little over two weeks) and not in my own village where I wouldn’t be able to escape the person. Yesterday Valerie told me that she had asked her mom for soap to do her laundry and that her mom had refused to giver her soap or money for soap. Her father gave her a tiny piece of soap to wash some of her clothes and then her aunt gave her the money to buy two bowls of soy beans and the money to go to the mill and get it ground. Apparently, her mom and her dad each make and sell their own soy and keep the revenue to themselves – they don’t pool funds (I am not exactly sure how this works). Valerie says her dad doesn’t have any money, but she knows that her mom does because her mom sold soy all day yesterday. Valerie is making soy today to sell to make her own income, an effort that I appreciate because it shows that at least she is doing something to improve her situation, but this morning she waits for me and walks with me to the school and tells me that she has made the soy, but she doesn’t have the money to buy the oil to fry the soy. I said that the trainees like to buy the soy unfried, so she could sell it to us and then she wouldn’t need oil. She said that we like to buy it that way, but that the villagers don’t and that a woman wanted to buy some fifty pieces of soy from her to take to Lome in the morning and she needed to fry it for that woman or she would lose her business to someone else. I asked her if she didn’t have any other family members that she could go to. She said one of her aunts went to the field and the other went to Lome. I asked if her dad couldn’t lend her the money. She said that she knows that he WOULD lend her the money if he had it, but that he doesn’t have it and so I told her that I would lend her the 550 francs to buy oil on the condition that she pays me back tomorrow. It would be nice if it really works out that way, it would put me at ease a bit, but I can’t help but suspect that SOMETHING is going to come up that will prevent her from being able to pay me back. I don’t know why the pessimism, but it seems as though every day she has a new story, a new need. I am about at the point where I am going to say don’t come to me for money, but she never asks me directly, she just tells me of her difficulties (knowing full well that I will probably help her out). Yesterday I did not offer to give her money for soap. Soap isn’t in the same needs category as food for me and I won’t fall into the trap of responding to her every need, but I am afraid she has figured out how to manipulate me . . . we will see.

So wouldn’t you just guess that all the interesting things would happen in one day, one afternoon even. I have had such a boring week and then today just exploded with interesting things to recount. In the morning I had Ewe classes, from now on, all my French classes have been replaced with Ewe classes and I am very happy about that because Ewe is what I am really going to need at my post. After my Ewe class, I have an hour by myself to study because my Ewe teacher gives me classes and then another trainee classes right afterwards (we don’t have classes together because I started Ewe before her). I enjoy having the time to review what I just learned in my Ewe class. The technique session this morning was half great and half excruciatingly boring. The fun half was lead by my fellow trainees. It was a mock elementary school health class. We played a game of “microbe” tag – like any game of tag except the person who is it is a microbe and to protect yourself from becoming it you have to shout out a way to protect yourself from “microbes” before getting tagged. For example “wash your hands,” “brush your teeth,” “boil or filter your water,” “wear shoes,” “clean your fruits and vegetables in bleach water,” “protect food and utensils from flies,” “use latrines,” etc. And then they sang a song they had made up about “microbes” to the tune of the song “Tequila” and in place of Tequila, they shouted “La Santé.” It was fantastic, they even made up a little dance. Then the man who gave us a boring session on Tuesday gave us another terribly boring session.

Over the lunch break, Felicite was working on some math problems (she isn’t in school right now, but it seems as though she might be getting some tutoring) and so I organized my photos on my computer and picked the ones to eventually be posted on my blog and to burn onto a CD with all the other trainees’ photos. I was sitting in the hallway with my computer – I don’t usually plug it in at the house because I don’t want to use my host families’ electricity – but my host father insisted that I plug it in (he is such a sweet man) and so I went to my room where I have a plug.

In the afternoon we had a great hands-on session on improved cook-stoves. We made a supposedly “improved” cook-stove at one of the trainees’ houses. I haven’t read the handout yet, but from what I understand it is improved from the traditional stove in that it is more energy efficient; it contains the heat better and therefore uses less wood. The downside is that it is made to fit only one pot (so you have to have a different stove for each pot – just kidding =0). I am not kidding about the fact that it only fits one pot and that seems like a pretty big downside to me, but I guess you make the improved cook-stove to fit the pot you use the most and then you use the traditional stoves for all the other pots (they are less efficient, but more versatile).

To make the improved cook-stove we mixed together clay (which had already been gathered and pounded smooth in preparation for our arrival), sand and straw using our feet (just like we made adobe in Manzanal, Bolivia, but in a smaller quantity). Then we made little balls of clay and brought them into the kitchen (an outdoor structure with a cement floor and straw fence walls). Our trainers proceeded to break holes in the cement floor where they placed three brick-like stones standing up in a triangle formation (one stone in each hole at the points of the triangle). Then they wet the floor and proceeded to build the stove in a horse-shoe shape around a pot that had been placed in the middle. I think the stones are just to give a basic shape to the stove and to get an idea of the size that is required by a particular pot. So we built the stove up around, smoothing it out and trying to make it even (esthetics is important). We used corn cobs to smooth out the clay. Then we used a machete to even it up a bit and also to cut two little smoke chimneys on either side. I think the host mom was going to make it a bit prettier after we left and it was also her job to twist the pot (still in the stove) at least twice a day so it didn’t end up stuck there permanently. It was a fun activity, but not everyone could see very well (the kitchen was small and there were a lot of Togolese people watching) and so I think some people were bored. I love all hands on activities and so I made sure I was right in there making the stove. I want to make sure I know how to do it because my neighbor in Avassikpe, my post, has a traditional three stone stove which I am sure is not energy efficient at all because it allows heat to escape on all sides.

Afterwards we had the rest of the afternoon off and so we cleaned up and went to Afrikiko to sit and talk. The trainees have discovered little plastic bags of gin and whiskey and they love it – apparently if you mix the whiskey with Fanta it tastes like an orange creamsicle (the whisky apparently has a vanilla-y flavor) – I have yet to try it.

So, this is where the day got really exciting. I was sitting there chatting with my friends when some more people arrived. I moved to scoot my chair over to open the circle up and SOMEHOW (this is on par with me breaking my finger by sitting on it, te acordas Vida?) managed to catch the large mole on my right forearm on the side-pocket of my cargo capris (note to self: don’t wear cargo pants). It hurt a bit, but I didn’t realize what had happened until I saw blood gushing out from underneath my mole (I know! GROSS!). I don’t like to cause a scene, so I got up quietly from the table and was thinking of just running out of there, but it was really gushing blood, gushing blood like I don’t think any part of me has ever gushed blood. I was just sort of standing there holding my arm (one of my friends later said it looked like I was doing a little dance =0) – I was a little indecisive, I didn’t know what to do, so I said “um, guys, I think I have a little problem.” Of, course they all rushed to help me and before I knew it the med kit was out and my arm was over my head with a gauze pad over it and pressure was being applied (one of the trainees is an experienced EMT and she completely took charge of the situation). When it stopped bleeding enough for me to take a look I was disappointed to see that only half of the mole had been ripped up. I mean, if I have to deal with the pain I would AT LEAST like the reward of not having the ugly thing on my arm anymore. My EMT friend was all for cutting the whole thing off, but I was a little wary of any impromptu surgery in the middle of a Togolese bar (not the most sterile place I can think of). We called the PCMO (Peace Corps Medical Officer) and I must admit I was hoping that she would have me go to Lomé and that they would remove the rest of it, but she said to just wash it out and bandage it loosely and let it grow back into place =0(. I like to describe my new mole as a butt, because it now has a crease down the middle where it bent in half. My friends were great, really really great. They took quick decisive action and all came together – one attending my arm, one making use of her cell phone, one putting salt and water on my pants so the blood would come out, one holding my hand when we cleaned it with soap and water . . . they are really a wonderful group of people and we all had to laugh about the situation because it is just so STUPID and IMPOSSIBLE. Can you imagine ripping half a mole off your arm with your own pants-pocket?!?!?! It is an amazingly clean cut, too – it looks as if it had been cut with a razor. As of this point, though, I really REALLY just want the whole thing off my arm.

And, as if that weren’t enough excitement for one afternoon, I had just finished eating dinner when some people arrived in my compound. I stood up to see who they were and I didn’t really know what mental category to place them in until they spoke to me in English. They are a family from the States, the man is Togolese and is my host dad’s nephew and the woman is Puerto Rican and their three children (two girls and a boy, all teenagers or older) were with them. It was a fun distraction to meet them and after we chatted for awhile, I took them to Afrikiko to meet the other girls.

8/3/07 and 8/4/07

In general I am well except that I still haven’t gotten over my funk. Everyone is just fed up at this point and we don’t have much patience or energy for anything left. Hopefully having today we protested yesterday and said that we needed a mental health day and, surprisingly, it was granted) and tomorrow (Sunday) off will give us the mental break that we need to recuperate our positive attitudes and finish out the last two weeks of training with a bit of energy.

Yesterday morning we took a field trip to visit a current health volunteer in her village about 45 minutes from our training site. We visited her “cas de sante” – a health unit that is even smaller than a dispensaire. Interestingly enough, however, her cas de sante is much better staffed than my dispensaire in Avassikpe. She has a nurse, an accoucheuse (midwife) and two ASCs (Community Health Agents). The visit was good, but a little intimidating, because this girl is like Super-Volunteer. She has only been at post ten months and she has already done pretty much everything we have talked about during training – she does baby-weighing, soy, moringa, she has helped organize and train a CVD (Village Development Committee), she is now helping to organize a COGES (a supervising health committee) so that the village can get dispensaire status. She is also helping out with the water shortage in her village and working on money managing issues. It was a nice visit, but for some strange reason it was a little discouraging. I think our lack of energy contrasted with her energy and all she seems to have accomplished already left us feeling even a little more inadequate.

In the afternoon we had a session on Togo’s History, which would have been very interesting, except that I was in the back and couldn’t hear or see and my butt was going numb from the wooden bench, so I guess I will have to read about it sometime to get the full account.

In the evening we watched Finding Nemo at my house with Felicite, Fidele and my host mom.

This morning my host mom wasn’t around because Fidele’s mom (my host mom’s daughter in law) is having her baby today – I hope I eventually get to see the baby!

Valerie came to see me this morning as well. She said that she didn’t come by last night because she wasn’t feeling well. She didn’t offer the 550 cFA, but when I asked her for it, she had it with her and gave it to me – I must say, I was pleasantly surprised.