9/1/07 through 9/9/07

9/1/07 and 9/2/07

Yesterday morning, right after eating some bread for breakfast, we
ventured out on our bikes to the post office and internet. It had
momentarily stopped raining, but internet was not working. The woman
said to come back at four or five in the afternoon to see if it was
working. We planned to return, but from noon until around eight or
nine it was absolutely pouring. Who knew that so much rain could fall
from the sky in less than 48 hours. Anyway, I never made it to the
internet. I am not sure whether it is open on Sundays (probably not,
but I will check) and if not, Ashley offered to try to send my email
later in the week. I am a little afraid that the only internet café
is a CIB (the official chain of internet cafés, that sometimes have a
faster hookup, but that often don't allow me to use either CDs or
memory sticks).

We came back to the house, left our bikes and the pineapples and
oranges I had acquired, and headed out to the market. It was already
starting to drizzle. In the market I bought lots of things – almost
all of the things on my list. I bought a bucket exclusively for
taking water out of the well (it contrasts with my yucky bucket where
I spit my toothpaste, pee and throw other "dirty" liquids). I also
bought a small basin for hand-washing after use of my latrine and a
funnel. I bought (WAY TOO MANY) black-eyed peas, brown beans, raw
peanuts and dried corn kernals (for grinding and making pâte). I also
bought regular flour, granulated (as opposed to cubed) sugar, baking
powder, sixty some tablets of Maggi poulet (chicken stock – in bulk),
vanilla cooking essence, a bulk pack of toilet paper, peanut butter,
red pepper powder, black pepper, something called gari (a just bought
a little bit to try it – I think it is finely shredded cassava that
they often mix with beans or pasta to make it more substantial or
filling), onions, carrots, cabbage and bananas, a hammer, some
concrete nails, some more nylon string (you can never have enough!),
oatmeal, Milo (chocolate vitamin drink) and powdered milk. I feel as
though once I have my guarde-manger (my food storage closet) full of
non-perishable food, I will feel a little bit more at ease just
knowing that I have more options than beans and rice. I would also
like to invite my homologue over to eat sometime (although I have no
idea what I would cook for her . . .) because she has invited me over
so many times. The hammer I bought to share with the other new
volunteers in my area (Heather (SED) and Ashley (CHAP) in Notse and
Tig (CHAP) in Agou) because we all might need a hammer now and again,
but no one needs a hammer 24/7. For me, a hammer might be useful
first of all in putting up a line in my shower and my little shower
shelf once I get it made. Perhaps I will also need it to make a fence
around a future garden or to fix my rain water harvesting system and
maybe also for hanging things on the walls. We will see how easy (or
not) it is to hammer into concrete).

Ashley was wonderful – she led me all around the market, helped me
carry things, and bore the drizzling (sometimes harder than at other
times) rain with me. Without her I wouldn't have been able to find
anything and I definitely wouldn't have been able to carry it all. It
will be a challenge to put it all on my bike for the trip back.

On the way back we bought fresh tofu and tomatoes. For lunch we
cooked the tofu in a bit of oil with garlic and onion and then we
added basil and oregano (Ashley had these elusive spices) and olive
oil (Ashley splurged on this in Lome – I think it was $10.000 for half
a liter) and chopped up tomatoes and tossed it with multicolored
fettuccine. It was amazingly tasty.

We were cleaning up when a Togolese friend of Ashley's stopped by. He
is Heather's neighbor – a young guy around 18. He seems friendly, but
when he asked me for my cell phone number I said I didn't have one.
Then we got a call from Tig – she was in Notse! We had been waiting
and hoping, but doubtful that she would make it because of the rain.
Ashley went out to "rescue her," while I whipped up some more
fettuccine for Tig. When she arrived she was absolutely SOPPING wet.
DRENCHED. We were ecstatic to see her though – it had been such a
challenge for her to make her way to Notse and the unrelenting pouring
rain didn't improve matters. For the rest of the afternoon as the
torrential rain continued to fall, we just talked about our respective
first weeks at post and relished in the together-ness. I think we
might be three of the luckiest new volunteers because we are
relatively accessible to each other and will probably be seeing a lot
of each other. In the evening we started catching Tig up on the three
episodes of Prison Break that she had missed and we made super yummy
potatoes and pancakes! On our pancakes we had the left-over chocolate
sauce I had made out of SwissMiss, cinnamon sugar, or honey. It was
fabulous.

Ashley's bed also arrived around six in the evening. It is a great
bed, particularly because it has a full frame for her mosquito net so
that it is not at all droopy (I need to work on mine a bit, because it
is most definitely droopy).

We watch Prison Break until way past all of our bedtimes and then
giggled like schoolgirls at a sleepover until we finally fell asleep.

This morning the girls are still sleeping – I don't know what it is,
but I am just not a sleeper-inner. I am also in a bit of a dilemma.
It has finally stopped raining, but I am not confident of the
navigability of my dirt road in particular with my bike and all my
newly acquired purchases (not so much the route national which is
paved). Less disinterested is my desire to stay another day with the
girls and to have another chance at internet, but I tentatively have a
meeting this afternoon with the "students" of my village (the older
middle school and high school students who will be leaving soon to go
to their respective schools in the larger towns and cities). The
point of this meeting is to talk to a group of people in the village
who speak and understand French, to explain my role in the village and
to ask them to explain it, in turn, to their families. The thing is
that nothing here is set in stone and I would be sad if I returned to
my village today for a meeting that did not take place, but at the
same time I feel as though if the meeting has really been organized I
should go. I text-messaged Lili last night, but she didn't respond
and so I think this morning I will call her and then I will know my
plan of action.

So, I am staying in Notse another night and I must say that it is not
without guilt, but I am trying to justify it to myself. I really just
wanted to stay and spend some more time with the girls, but to semi
justify my decision - it was raining off and on (don't want to get all
my newly acquired food supplies wet!) and I called Lili and she said
that because of all the rain, she hadn't really organized the meeting
with the students and that she wasn't sure they would come, so she
would find the student she had talked to originally and schedule the
meeting for another day.

In the morning, Ashley wasn't feeling very well, so Tig and I walked
to the internet place where they told us that the internet was
working, but the system needed four hours or so to reboot, so to come
back later. Then we walked through the market and shopped for some of
the things on Tig's list. It was good for me, in a certain sense,
that Ashley wasn't there because it forced me to pay attention and
figure out Notse for myself a bit. I have been just following her
around because she knows where she is going, but it is good for me to
get a handle on the city as well so that I won't be so dependent on
her for everything.

When we got back to the house we prepared and ate lunch – pasta with
peanut sauce – and it was yummy. Then we cleaned up, swept the house,
pumped up my soft bicycle tire and packed all my food into my saddle
bags. I think I have major obsessive compulsive qualities. It makes
me really happy to see full Voltic (1.5 L bottles for water) bottles
of non-perishable food lined up in my guard-manger, so I feel a need,
a literal NEED to buy enough of everything to FILL a Voltic bottle.
Hm. Tig asked if then I wouldn't use the food because the bottles
would no longer be full and I said no, I'm not THAT bad, but I guess I
just want them to start off full. Anyway, so I acquired some new items
– soy nuts (not really sure what I am going to do with them, but I
have plenty of time to experiment) and popcorn kernels and these yummy
little nuts that taste like coconuts and look a little bit like big
wrinkled raisins (they can be either black or yellow on the outside
and have a white pulp that tastes pretty much just like coconut
although better because it is perhaps a little less intense of a
coconut flavor and just slightly more nutty – my homologue said that
they are called something that sounds like "sushi" in Ewe and they
grow in the ground like peanuts. I wonder what they are . . . ).

Afterwards we went to the internet café. It wasn't really working at
all, but in the end I think I managed to send both my emails to you
and my blog posts, but I was never able to enter my hotmail account
and so I didn't receive your mails. That made me a little sad, but I
tried to focus on the fact that at least you would have my emails. My
friends are super understanding of how important internet is to me and
they put my internet needs first – for example, Ashley told me to use
her computer, because it was working and mine wasn't, and she also
gave me twenty of her internet minutes to see if I could send off my
email, which I was finally able to do thanks to her. Anyway, I can't
use cds here, but I can use my memory stick, but in the end, I think
internet in Notse is going to be as frustrating as everywhere else (no
miracles =0). However, we are looking into the possibility of getting
internet at Heather's house (the new SED volunteer here in Notse) and
just sharing the cost between several of us. I think she is willing
to foot the bulk of the cost and I am more than willing to contribute
weekly or monthly if it means I have internet access that actually
works.

After internet we walked through the market a bit more and then we
went to Heather's house because she had invited us over for dinner.
We had a dinner of humus with bread and crackers, olives and pickles
(all things she had bought in Lome) and it was sort of picknick-y in
style and fun. I feel lucky to have been placed with such a great
group of people.

I am pretty sleepy, but I think we are going to watch some Prison Break.

9/3/07

I am exhausted, but well. I am back in Avassikpe and content to be
here even though this morning I was reluctant to leave. Ashley and I
went to see the DPS (Director Prefectural de Sante) – the regional
health director this morning around 7:00, but he wasn't there and they
informed us that he is traveling and won't be back until the 13th of
September. I had packed up my bike the day before and earlier this
morning, so I just ate some bread, went pee and prepared to leave. I
was very nervous – the bike was extremely overloaded and I was afraid
that it would completely throw off my balance. I had stubbornly
refused Ashley's suggestion to leave some of my purchases behind
(although I did leave the pack of toilet paper). I wanted all my
foodstuffs so as to begin to have a well-stocked guarde-manger. I
said good-bye to my friends and told them that I would go a little
ways and if I thought I couldn't do it, I would come back and unload
some of the weight. I found that I could pedal and keep my balance
and so I kept going, but it was an extremely tiring and at times scary
ride. I must promise myself not to do that again and to try to curb
my excessiveness and stubbornness a bit in these situations because it
was rather dangerous and essentially an unnecessary risk. I could
have taken only a portion of what I bought and left the rest at
Ashley's house. It was very difficult to go up hills and very
nerve-wracking when a big bus or truck passed me. I knew that I was
in big trouble if I made any sudden swerving movements and lost my
balance and I was simultaneously cursing myself for being stupid and
trying to encourage myself – telling myself that I could do it and
just to take it very slow and easy. I tried to make up for my
original stupidity by being extremely cautious, but it was an
exhausting ride (that took me an hour longer than it took me to ride
to Notse on Friday). By the time I reached Agbatitoe (the town where
I turn off the paved road onto the dirt road that leads to Avassikpe),
my muscles were trembling with fatigue and I was praying to God to
help me make it. I was happy for the excuse to get off my bike and
walk a bit, stretching my muscles, when I found that the beginning of
the dirt road was a small river. I pushed my bike all the way through
Agbatitoe – imagining with every step through deep mud that my bike
would tip over and all my foodstuffs would get soaked with the
garbage/sewage water that I was walking through (I had no choice, the
road was flooded – I don't walk through sewage water in sandals just
for fun). I finally got on my bike again, although I got off and on
several times du to deep sand and the fact that my bag and machete
were falling off my bike, before finally arriving in Avassikpe. Lily
told me yesterday that she would be in Notse today, so I by-passed the
dispensaire and went right to my house. I had been wondering how it
had held up against all the rain and storming of the weekend, but it
was perfectly fine. It looks like there might have been a small leak
in one spot, but nothing was near it or under it. I was thankful that
I had tightly closed up the house before leaving (Ashley,
unfortunately, was combating leaks all weekend!). I thought I would
pass out from exhaustion when I arrived (around 10:30 in the morning),
but I also wanted to get the weight off my bike ASAP and so I
unpacked. I felt as though I had just arrived from a trip to SAMS
Club and was now unloading, reorganizing and repackaging my bulk
purchases. I filled voltic bottles and Tupperware containers and I
made a bag fro the extra back-up supplies so that my guarde-manger
isn't too cluttered. I have an idea for a shelf made of woven baskets
of decreasing sizes – in the biggest and bottom one I will store
fruits, in the second biggest – vegetables, then a basket for spices
and the top basket for cooking utensils. I might add more baskets in
there, we will see, but I think it will be nice. I bought a basket
from a very nice woman in Notse who will perhaps even custom make my
baskets if I ask. We will see. I am excited about my newest idea.
=0)

I stunk worse than I think I have ever stunk in my life, but I wanted
to finish unpacking, organizing and cleaning. As I was unpacking my
backpack, I noticed that all my papers were wet. I was perplexed as
to how they had gotten wet and then realized that my sweat must have
seeped through the backpack – gross! Good news – my 12 eggs made it
in one piece (actually 12 pieces =0) – the plastic egg carrier was a
worthwhile purchase! Bad news – I think I got cheated on the black
eyed peas that I bought because they seem not to have been dried
properly – they are not hard, but rather I can break them apart like
raw peanuts. I will ask Lily what to do with them. Perhaps I can dry
them some more myself and salvage them.

(As I write, there are kids running up to my paillote porch and then
running away screaming as if I were coming after them even though I am
completely ignoring them). I have run out of patience a bit with kids
today. The oldest of the children next door was hitting the younger
boy with a stick. I took the stick away from him and broke it into
three pieces and threw it on top of my paillote. I told him not to
hit, but I am not sure if he understood. When I arrived, they asked me
if I had brought bread. I gave them some stick things that I bought
on the trip back and thought were gross. Later, they came back asking
for more.

I have a new strategy for learning Ewe. Every time I would like to
say something in particular and I don't have the language skills to do
it, I will write down the pharse in French and ask Lily to translate
them for me. Hopefully that will help me advance a bit.

For lunch I made myself an egg sandwich – scrambled egg,
vache-qui-rit, bread and too much salt. It was yummy. I ate and
continued organizing. I now have 11 voltic bottles filled with
different sorts of beans and grains and I love it. My only problem is
that my guarde-manger is growing mold on the inside and I don't know
how to go about cleaning it since it is unfinished wood.

As I organized there was a lightining bolt that was so close it
crackled. IT began to storm and the rian was coming down so hard that
I put a big shower bucket outside under the drip right in front of my
door where the paillote has interfered with my gutters and it was full
in less than five minutes. My cistern is also full to overflowing. I
guess I missed the boat on cleaning it – it would have been ideal had
I cleaned it last week because it was almost empty and now it would be
full and clean. I don't know how I will clean it now – I don't have
the place to store all the water and it would be such a shame – it
wouldn't be wasted of course, other people around the village could
take and use the water but who knows if it will continue to rain like
this.

As it was pouring rain I decided to go shower. When I went out to my
shower (by the way, my moringa plants are looking good, I was a little
worried), it was raining hard and no longer thundering and lightning;
once I was all lathered up, it slowed to a drizzle and started the
racket again. I couldn't help but wonder if rubber flip flops would
act like rubber boots and protect from a lightning strike (?!?!).

When I finished showering, I finished cleaning up and sweeping out my
house. Two young women stopped by (one of whom I recognized as a
daughter of the chief) and asked if I had brought them bread from
Notse. I said no – it was an awkward moment. Then they asked if I
would go with them to the field. When I said yes, they looked
positively shocked. I would actually really like to go and give it a
try, see what and how they do it. Maybe I will try to get an
opportunity to go this week.

Tsevie also stopped by while I was writing. It seems as though he has
a very nice paillote in mind – with a little wall to keep the goats
out. It sounds really nice, but I wonder what it will cost . . . I
need to call Tchao, my APCD. I didn't do it while in Notse, but
Tsevie has his cell phone number, so perhaps I will try calling. If I
decide I want the round paillote, I can probably argue my case to the
Peace Corps based on the lake this one creates outside my front door.

It is pouring again. It rains so unbelievably hard here. I wish it
had been raining like this when I was trying to shower. I plan on
cutting up a pineapple for dinner and then maybe working on my shower
holder project for a bit and then reading before going to sleep. I
bet I will sleep well tonight considering that for the past three
nights I have slept on the floor and I biked 18 K today with 50+ extra
pounds of weight.

9/4/07

Last night, I couldn't eat the whole pineapple and so I made the rest
of it into jam to eat on my bread this morning. IT was yummy. I also
worked on my shower shelf project – I am not sure how it will turn out
yet. Right now I am going to finish drinking my Milo (I have already
eaten) and then I am going to head over to the dispensaire and
hopefully plant my moringa – not just my seedlings, but also as many
of the seeds as I can around Lili's garden. I would like to start the
work before it gets too hot. I am trying to think what I could put
around each spot to mark where I have planted . . .

--

So, I planted the moringa. It only took about an hour, but I had help
from a friend of Lily. I only saw Lili briefly because she was
heading to Notse again. She said that on her way to Notse yesterday
she saw me on my bike (that must have been amusing =0). She also told
me that if I spread the beans out on the floor of my house, they would
dry – we will see. I was all dirty after coming back from the garden
and so I heated water and took a shower. Then I went and sat on the
steps of the dispensaire and wove my shower shelf under the
observation of two little girls and tow women and other people who
were coming and going. IF I am able to mount it on my shower wall –
if I am able to hammer nails into concrete), I think it will work
nicely.

I just made lunch, but I haven't eaten yet – I made couscous with
brown lentils, carrots, cabbage, onions, garlic, tomato paste, oil,
salt, mystery spice and chicken stock. We will see how it is.
Tomorrow, I am hoping to make beans to share with Lili. Her brother
is back, but I haven't really talked to him yet except to say hello.

The rain here is seriously out of control. Every day it pours – I am
considering building an arc. =0) I hope my moringa seeds don't get
washed away.

I am proud of myself. I have had a productive afternoon and it is only
3:20. After I ate lunch – my food was pretty good, I had a visitor –
Delali, the young woman who visited me the last time and told me that
she likes white people because they give her things. She wanted to
come in the house and I said no, I went outside. She protested and
said that she was a Christian. It was a little awkward. We chatted
for a while and then she left. I then mounted my shower shelf on my
shower wall – I think it will work well. Now I have a shower rack and
a string to hang my underwear on after I wash them and also two nails
in the latrine room where there is a roof to hang my pagne and towel
when it is wet out or raining. Then I came inside and fixed my
mosquito net holders. I saw Ashley's over the weekend and they are a
T shape rather than four posts. I was tired of my mosquito net
sagging all the time and so I made mine into a T as well. It is still
a little wobbly, but if I find it too wobbly I will just full Milo and
powdered mild cans with stones to stabilize the base. We will see.

In the afternoon yesterday, I just studied Ewe a bit and then I had a
lazy afternoon and evening – I just read. Last night I slept wit ha
sweatshirt on and it felt like a hug – it was nice. I would like to
get a quilt made for my bed. Lili's friend, the one who helped me
plant the moringa is a seamstress – I wonder if I explained what I
want, if she would make me a quilt out of scraps of pagne. She says
there is no work now, so no would probably be a good time to ask her
to make one for me.

9/5/07

I just watched the younger of the two boys who lives next door step on
a baby lizard, let it run a bit then step on it again, kick it to make
it run again and step on it again. Then he brought it and threw it
under my paillote. I managed to communicate that I wanted him to
remove it, but I am sure he didn't understand that I was upset that he
killed it in the first place.

I usually don't mind the kids, but when I am trying to cook or eat, it
makes me very uncomfortable to have them staring in at me and saying
things that I cannot comprehend but can only imagine are requests for
food. At every chance that they get, they run into my house and look
quickly around with unveiled curiosity, trying to soak up all the many
things in my house before I make them leave, which I always do
immediately.

Today I was hoping to have Lili over for lunch, but she preferred to
come for dinner because she was going to go visit someone in another
village, an ASC who had some paperwork for her. I have already cooked
the beans, which we will eat with the dried, shredded manioc. I am
eating it right now for lunch and I think it is tasty. I wonder what
they will think and what advice they will have for the next time. I
only hope it keeps until evening.

I tried to get them to explain how to prepare the beans this morning,
but they only told me how to cook the beans and not when and what
other ingredients to add.

This morning, after eating an egg sandwich for breakfast, I went to
the dispensaire. On the way, I saw a dead baby sheep. It looked
newborn, perhaps still born. I hope someone removes it and doesn't
just let it rot there, in the middle of the village. At the
dispensaire, I sat through several pre-natal consultations. The
first was with a Kabiye woman, so I understood nothing and in the
others, which were in Ewe, I understood next to nothing. I need a
good Ewe-French or Ewe-English dictionary. I just want to be able to
speak and understand Ewe right now.

After sitting at the dispensaire a bit (by the way, one of the women
who came in for a consultation is the secretary of the CVD), Lili's
friend walked me to my house, checked my beans, and told me what I
already knew – that they needed to cook more. Then I went to her
house, which is on the far side of the village. I sat there for a
while and then came home and did my laundry with lots of little eyes
watching. Then I cooked lunch/dinner and unfortunately more little
eyes were watching. If there is some left over tonight, I will give
it to them, but I don't want to give them food when they ask or they
will be asking all the time.

Soon I think I will walk over to Lili's friend's house because she
told me that if it wasn't raining we would walk I don't know where
around 2:00. I am not sure I can find her house again, but I will
try.

--

I love it here. I really genuinely, honestly, sincerely love it here
and I am so glad that I do because if I didn't, I can't help but think
that I would be very disappointed with myself and rather lost. I have
been longing to be here, where I am right now, for so many years that
if I got here and I wasn't happy, I don't know what I would do. That
I say I am happy does not mean that I am always happy or that I always
love it here, but I do not feel the same feelings of frustration and
anger that some of my friends feel. I sometimes find myself in the
awkward position of not really being able to relate to their
unhappiness. I try to identify what exactly allows me to laugh off
the yovo song or not to be bothered by the idiosyncrasies of Togolese
life, but I can't put my finger on it. I am often baffled by a common
Peace Corps bonding ritual – sharing stores of day to day hardships
that often boil down to critiques of Togolese people and culture. I
do not mean to judge my friends – I can not fully understand how they
interiorize their experience here and I know that part of their
personal unhappiness stems from an inwardly directed disagreement with
how they react to certain elements of this experience. They don't
like how it makes them feel, but they don't know ho not to feel that
way. I feel impotent as I listen to my friends discuss ET-ing as if
it were a possibility, remote, but none-the-less possible, because I
can not explain my happiness here, much less impart it. I find myself
often trying to curb my happiness around others because I feel that
the old adage "misery loves company" rings particularly true here.
Fellow PCVs want to hear about your trials and tribulations, fears and
frustrations, so as to be more at ease with their own. They don't
want to hear about how much you love Togo, how happy you are to be
here and how all those things that drive them crazy don't bother you
at all.

--

I went for a walk with Lili's friend out to one of the surrounding
villages. It was a nice, half an hour long walk on a dirt road
through tall grasses and fields of corn, sorghum, manioc, and cotton.
We ran the last bit and got caught in the rain before we took shelter
in the house of the woman's "sister" (her uncle's daughter). We
stayed until the rain let up. A man told me that when I return he
would kill a chicken for a meal. On the way back we got soaked. It
was fun – I have been looking for an excuse to be out in the pouring
rain ever since Friday when it started to rain crazy every day.

Now I will study Ewe for a bit before I prepare for my visitors – Lili
and her friend who are coming for dinner.
I was afraid they wouldn't come but they came. As I waited, I studied
Ewe. I was really afraid they wouldn't like my beans. Especially
when Lili asked if I had poured the oil on top and when I said yes,
she told me that I shouldn't have, that they prepare the beans with
salt and nothing else and then oil and piment apart and they only mix
it together (with gari as well) at the moment of eating.

When they started eating, they seemed to truly think it was good.
Lili said that it tasted even better than when they prepared it and
that if she had known that I made such good food she would have come
over in the afternoon to learn from me. I think they were
exaggerating just a bit, over compensating because I had expressed
fear that they wouldn't like it, but I think they genuinely thought it
was good. They didn't eat a lot, though, but Lili said that she is
coming over to eat it for breakfast (?!?!). I was going to give it to
the family next door. I guess if she doesn't come eat it for
breakfast, I will give it to them. She said it wouldn't spoil. I
sure hope not.

Lili also told me that the chief said that he is going to "gongonne"
(send out the village 'crier') tonight an call a meeting for tomorrow
morning to officially present me to the village. I am excited. I
hope it goes well. I wonder if I should prepare something to say . .
. I didn't ask Lili . . . )

9/6/07

I guess that I am not being presented to the village today because
Tsevie – who is both the town crier and a member of the CVD cam by and
said that the CVD would meet this morning and he said that he had not
informed the village last night so the meeting with the chief won't
take place.

I forgot to mention two things that the young girl – Delali – said to
me the other day. She told me that the woman who lives next door to
me, with her three children is a sorcerer and that I should not accept
anything that she gives me to eat. She said that her mother (the
chief's wife) is a sorcerer too. She also expressed bewilderment at
the fact that a brother of hers went to France and when he came back
his hair was still the same. I think she was under the impression
that if you go to France, Europe or the States, your hair will
straighten out.

I have discovered a yummy way to eat overly ripe bananas – can't throw
them out just because they are unpalatable, can't freeze them until
you have enough to make banana bread – so mash 'em up and stick them
in oatmeal with peanut butter to mask the slightly tangy flavor and it
is pretty good. Add brown sugar and it is downright yummy.

--

I am in a bad mood and frustrated with myself for having created a
situation that is bound just to bring me grief> I just had a impromptu
meeting with the students and I introduced myself, explained what I am
here for and what I am not here for and told them that if they have
ideas for projects or questions that they could come to me and discuss
it. I felt a little lost as to why the meeting had been called. I was
expecting teenagers, but the bulk of the attendants were children
(anyone they could round up, I guess). Pretty much they are mostly
just interested in my help in forming a soccer team (aka – finding
them a ball). But maybe we could work health talks into the deal.
Afterwards a young man came to me and asked if I would be home in the
evening and could he came to my house? Why oh why did I not just say
can we talk right here and now? What is wrong with me? So now I can't
be at my house this evening. I will go to the dispensaire. I think I
prefer the tactic of evasion. Sometimes I frustrate myself to no end.
I just want to kick myself.

This morning, I had a meeting with the CVD – it started an hour later,
but at least it took place. I introduced myself and told them that I
am happy to be here and looking forward to doing a lot of good work
with them etc., etc. Only some of the members speak French, so there
was a lot of translating back and forth. I told them that I am
interested in the ideas they have for the village – I gave the example
of housing for a nurse at the dispensaire as a possible long term
development goal and asked for other suggested projects, both large
and small. They mentioned a pump or well for the dispensaire, a more
organized village trash disposal system, activities for the children
who do not yet go to school, sensibilization to encourage all parents
to send their children to school, improving the medicines available at
the dispensaire . . . I suggested that we all spend the next couple of
weeks thinking of plans for fulfilling these goals, but I am afraid
they already sort of look to me for answers. Everyone seemed to be on
the right page, more or less, except for one little old man who said
that before he could convince his friends/family/contacts to help the
CVD reach their goals, he needed the photo that they took after going
through the formation I tried to explain that the photo isn't as
important as the CVD's reputation in the village for doing good work
and responsible money management. All-in-all, I think it went well
for a first meeting.

I was supposed to go to a neighboring village, but the ASC who was
supposed to take me didn't show up – probably because the roads are
bad because of all the rain. It is raining way more than usual (so
they tell me). Everyday it pours and apparently it is ruining the
crops and the roads and some people have drown in flash floods –
underestimating the strength of the water they try to wade through.

I am uneasy and unhappy with myself right now because of my bad
judgment call with the young man earlier. Sometimes I really just
don't understand what is wrong with me. =0( I need to set a precedent
– people should come to the dispensaire, not to my home if they want
to talk with me. I should have said that in my little on the spot
speech . . .

I just finished taking a shower while simultaneously burning my
garbage. While that was a good idea in the sense that I was
multitasking, it was a bad idea in almost every other sense – ie,
inhaling toxic fumes and making me and my towel smell like smoke,
which sort of defeats the purpose of bathing in the first place.

I also looked at myself in the mirror for the first time in several
days and noticed that my eyebrows had turned into overgrown hedges
that required not only clippers, but a weedwacker. That is the
problem with not having a strategically placed unavoidable mirror
(hallway, bathroom) – by the time you remember to actually look in a
mirror, you are apt to be embarrassed by what you see.

I think I will go to the dispensaire now and stay there until evening.

--

I am sad and disappointed in my village and annoyed with myself. I
think someone stole my pajama shorts off the line yesterday and I am
just now realizing it. =0( It makes me super sad to know that
someone would steal from me and it is conniving thievery as well
because they stole the one thing that can potentially be worn without
being seen. It just makes me feel so unwelcome – it feels like such a
personal affront – not an anonymous pick-pocketing. I still hope I am
mistaken and when I wake up and there is light, I will find them . . .
I just can't believe that someone would come up to my line and steal
clothes off. I was in the house the whole time!! =0(

--

My evasion tactics of this afternoon landed me in a situation in which
I had to eat a sauce with pintade (like a quail?) feet and other
non-desirable (to me anyway) parts floating in it. It seems as though
those are very desirable parts here, though, as I watched my homologue
suck on pintade feet and gnaw every edible part off them, which,
believe me, is almost everything.

I spent the earlier part of the afternoon with Mana – Lili's
seamstress friend. She helps me learn Ewe and also showed me how to
use a mechanical (not electrical) sewing machine – the kind you pedal.
It is a lot harder than it looks. Somehow I kept moving backwards
rather than forwards.

Then I sat at the dispensaire and read for a while. Mana went to the
market to drink chouk (local beer), but, as I don't drink and prefer
not to be around random people when they are drinking, I went
elsewhere. Lili was out back digging up ignams, but I didn't know it.
I accepted her offer to go to her house and make fufu because I
wanted to stay out of my house until it was too late for the young man
to stop by.

I helped peel the ignams and experienced the itchy wrath of the bark
which I had forgotten is caustic. Great. It just itched and stung a
bit until I washed the affected member – my arm! =0)

Lili had two young girls living with her now – one is her youngest
sister (10? 12 perhaps?) and the other I don't think is related (8 or
9?).

Luckily, by the time the food was ready, it was already too dark for
me to easily distinguish what was floating in the sauce, so I just
avoided the chunks as I dunked my fufu. The sauce itself was yummy,
like gravy. I think the gross-ness is not a taste repulsion, but a
mental one. I mean, do you really know where those pintade feet have
been? Lili tried to offer me some gizzard, but I declined and so she
gave me a piece of meat. It was good, but tough and greasy without
being fatty. As in, the meat is greasy in and of itself, but the
birds don't have much fat on them. Again, I thanked the darkness for
allowing me to throw away bone and skin and perhaps some meat, I
couldn't really tell, which was all promptly made to disappear by a
hungry dog.

Lili walked me home and I discovered my missing shorts and so I am in
a rather sour mood.

9/7/07

So, this morning I was feeling pretty terrible because of the stolen
shorts and after looking all over for them I was about to go tell Lili
about it when I found them. I felt such a rush of mixed emotions –
sheepish for thinking that someone had stolen them, very relieved to
have found them before going to Lili, and so much more comfortable
just BEING in my village.

I left my village this morning around 7:30. The bike ride was so much
more enjoyable without all the extra weight and I think it will get
easier every time. It wasn't so bad this morning.

Since arriving at Ashley's house, I have been typing up my emails and
I helped make lunch. Tig also arrived around 11:30, so we are all
here now, yay! I am going to wash the dishes and then fill up our
indoor buckets with water and then take a shower. Tig and Heather
went to the market and I need to go to the market, but they were going
Dead Yovo shopping (for used clothing sold at the market) and I didn't
want in on that. Maybe I will go later in the day or maybe I will
hold off until Monday.

Unfortunately the "Fou" (crazy man) seems to be back in town. This is
the guy that "chased" the previous volunteer out of Notse by
repeatedly coming up to her and grabbing her breasts. It just makes
it that much harder to get up the courage and energy to leave the
house.

Note to Parents: (Haha! Now we will see if you actually read all of
this or if you just skim it! j/k =0) Ashley's mom sends her packages
in "flat rate" boxes – boxes that you buy at the post office – and it
doesn't matter how much they weigh (you can stuff as much into it as
possible). Anyway, it is probably only worth it to send heavy things,
because it cost her mom $37.00, but I sort of wish I had known about
that possibility to send packages to Jorge because you know how well I
can pack! =0). This is a "just for your information" detail.

I also found out today that we are scheduled to be on StandFast (when
you are not allowed to leave your post) from October 8th until October
22nd because of the parliamentary elections and, unless I get
permission to StandFast in Notse, I am not going to have any internet
access on those dates. However, I am going to try to StandFast in
Notse because I am not sure I can survive that long in my village.
Just kidding, I could survive, but I'm not sure that I want to. . .

I didn't get anything done today that I was hoping to get done in
Notse, like shopping, internet, calling my APCD about my paillote etc.
Part of it was laziness and lack of motivation . . . I DID, however,
get a phone call from my Dad and above and beyond my momentary
happiness of receiving a phone call from the world beyond =0), I am
super happy and excited that he is coming to visit me at the end of
October!!! Perfect timing for my birthday! Yay! I cannot hardly
believe that he is actually going to come here, to Togo, and to my
village!


Oh, I forgot to mention that I ventured out on my bike to buy some
fruit and on the way back on the dirt road that leads to Ashley's
house I had a little run-in with a motorcycle, but no one was hurt.
You know when you are walking down a hallway or a sidewalk and someone
is walking towards you and you try to guess which way they are going
to turn and at the last minute you have to side-step them . . . well
it was sort of like that except we both turned the same direction at
the last minute and I ran into the side of the motorcycle. The back
of my bike was weighted with pineapples and so it slipped out from
under me when I put my feet down, but I wasn't hurt at all, just
embarrassed. I apologized and rode away. The thing is that the roads
are so gutted by the rain that people don't necessarily drive on the
appropriate sides of the road, just on the most traversable path, so
that is how this happened . . .

9/8/07

This morning we left the house around 9:00 to go see what was
happening in the centre-ville. There was a big open field set up with
chairs in a concrete bleacher area on one side and then on the three
other sides there were just corrugated metal roof areas that you could
stand under for shade. Three problems – the really hot seats (where
there were actually plastic chairs, in the shade, and on an incline so
you could actually see) were reserved for important people including
the President of the Republic of Togo; the rain last night had created
a six-inch thick layer of muck under the shady areas where we were out
of the sun, but couldn't see anything because of all the people
standing in front of us. We took advantage of our whiteness and
foreign status to maneuver ourselves into the front row where we sat
on the sopping wet ground and in the burning hot sun for a couple of
hours. Except for the interest value of being less than 100 feet from
the President, the whole deal wasn't all that exciting. There was a
fair-like atmosphere, with lots of people selling things on the
outskirts, but we couldn't take advantage of their services for fear
of losing our spots. On the inside of the big square there were groups
that danced and sang separated by very long, outdrawn speeches in Ewe.
If it had been one performance after another, it wouldn't have been
so bad, but we were baking, literally baking in the sun and the
speeches made it rather torturous. One of the dances we saw was sort
of like the Togolese version of the Bolivian peasant dance with people
dancing with hoes and machetes and they went after a real live rat. It
was rather strange. There were also some people absolutely covered in
palm fronds – they kind of looked like big palm frond versions of "It"
on the Adams Family – I don't know how to describe it. We didn't get
to see them dance though, because we succumbed to the heat too soon.
It was noon and the sun was just grilling us. We couldn't do it any
longer and went to get some Fanmilk and then a cold drink.

As soon as we got home I showered (my feet were disgusting, black and
caked with mud) and then I fried up some plaintains – yummy.

9/09/07

This morning I made pancakes and then we went to the market for a bit
– it is pretty tame on Sundays. I bought some margarine (butter
doesn't really exist here except in the supermarkets in Lome, but then
again, neither do refrigerators), a kitchen knife, some nails and some
plastic bottles to organize more grains in.

This afternoon we will go to the internet and hopefully it will work,
at least a little.

I am trying to make a CD of photos using Heather's computer, so
hopefully that works as well.

I will bike back to my village early tomorrow morning.

Internet didn't work at all – I couldn't even get into my hotmail or
my gmail account. I couldn't even get onto the sign-in page.

The good news, however, is that I was able to burn CDs with photos and
so I will send them to Jorge and hopefully he can upload them onto the
internet for me and eventually I can label them.

The other good news is that I have had no encounters with the
boob-grabbing "fou."